Falling from grace?

Dearly beloved, I'm scattered here today to be left behind by you.
Gone to pieces and borne upon the wind.

I'm seething, I"m bleeding gaping holes in me only serve to expose your deception.
You that cut me with sharpened tongues, to tear me up when I fell down.

Gouging, fallin' scraping myself on the hard earth of your blackened spite.
Stumbling, caught up in this nigh endless night.

I'm left seething, I'm hating.
Yet the same thing I've always seen from you: Do as I say not as I do!

Coerced, pushed me into whats right or wrong,
Lured in while you trapped my heart and silenced its song.

Hidden 'neath the wings of your darkening decay
Lest I find freedom now and go all astray?

So try to keep me in your frigid shelter, but cannot keep me
blind to such blatant crimes you transpired.

I'm wearied, all ragged and in your lies I'm mired while
you tear out anything inspired.

I've tithed my last dime.
So Mister Dictator, taskmaster. may I sit in your pew?
Only to be seen but not heard, keep out everything aspired.

Blind, silenced by this matrix you've devised. To be tossed down rabbit hole
and hit rock bottom. So shocked at the world I see, 'cause all that you lied about
will yet come to be.

I"m fucking outcrying, outraging. Grow back my wings that you clipped so early in
my life. So take back your shallow ways, this shadow of your unyielding
strife!
Try to grasp my unnamed emotion of pain, you are revealed as so
unfeeling.
'Cause you cant hear these silent screams of my heart with
the blood of my soul on your hands.
You can take back all your pointless demands.

Like i crossed your unspoken line, so you wanted to
snap my spine?

'Cause you can't decide what I express, over control
you bitterly obsess.

My God, whats this coming to?

I see those demons on this cursed, dead end street.
And you weren't there when I went through my personal hell,
there's broken pieces of my jaded mind all around your feet.

Where these horrors smashed this world of waste and dripped it down
my throat again, just to numb my senses.
Broken religion spinning in my head.
Chained to this wheel of cursing 'til I'm dead?

At the place where you claimed the grass was greener, but now it
withers and dies into blackening decay.
And all I witness is sickening dismay.

So my God, whats this shit coming to?

Dearly beloved I once trusted you but I'm shocked at
the world that I see. Yet you cannot rescue me.

Angst is deepening, hurt all so aching.
To see it's me you've blindsided. Of all your cunning
I'm now reminded. Won't live in this secret hell you always
knew, can't let you crush my innermost virtue.

Lover and then fellow believer. Now lying deceiver, can't see nothing,
nor hear nothing.
Every time I'm afraid you'd disapprove, so make your final move.

Resent how much I think for me, 'cause time has left you unable to see.
Can't find a way through 'cause time has frozen whats left of you.
There is nothing left for us anywhere, so I now renew.



Look..at...my..self..in crimson haze..
Under the cross...in purest light...
Fresh revelation...no hate left now....
I hide in shadows only to find solace in new grace, where you said not to go.
Like a new salvation.

You took away tomorrow, but here I am free of this sorrow.

Grass is greener, but now it dies.......